==> StIT Reader: Survey The Mayhem
You enter the pub to find that things are EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL. Most notably, there seem to be MANY SAM KEEPERS. This is a terrible development, you think to yourself. And you are correct. One Sam Keeper was already just about all that you could handle. This is ENTIRELY TOO MANY SAM KEEPERS.
The most agitated looking of the Sam Keepers is PONTIFICATING ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT.
==> StIT Reader: Listen to pontification
Sam Keeper: Oh god, who could have possibly predicted that my extremely nebulously defined and possibly totally bullshit powers as the mythic Page of Paper could have caused so many problems? All the jumping I've done recently between various places has just created all these weird, kind of creepy alternate versions of myself, and now the whole blog is stuck under some mountain... I'll never finish my epic quest at this point and grow up to be a Well Adjusted Adult! And I have this whole article to write about how totally perfect and unassailable every aspect of Troll culture is! What the heck am I going to do???
Hold on, though, it looks like one of the other Keepers has something to say.
==> StIT Reader: Offer to listen to Keeper's excellent theories about quadrant shipping
Hell no. Keeper made her bed and she can sleep in it. Or more specifically she stole your chair and she can sit in it. Yeah, that metaphor scans, kinda. Anyway it's probably just Keeper's intractable destiny to fuck everything up forever.Hold on, though, it looks like one of the other Keepers has something to say.
==> Sam Coper: Sort this mess out
Sam Coper: You know Alternian culture is bullshit though right?
Sam Keeper: What the heck? Who are you?
Sam Coper: I'm you, but way, way calmer. Way calmer. Jesus buddy. I'm the you that actually learned to cope with things instead of doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle every time something goes wrong. And also I figured out that I can make this God Tier outfit have a cool skirt and shit, look at it!
Anyway, for real though, Alternian culture is bullshit, and so is your destiny, and that's... actually kind of a huge theme within the comic.
Sam Keeper: Ok, look, you're gonna have to break this one down for me a bit more.
Sam Coper: With pleasure.
See, Homestuck, among many other things, reveals that lots of stuff we think is natural or an inescapable fact of reality is actually a social and historical construct! And in fact, Homestuck shows that our identities might be a lot more free and fluid than we think.
